The Origin of the Shit Helper™
It all started in the early 1990s, somewhere in Eastern Europe — in a country you probably haven’t heard of, and honestly, that’s not important.
During a PE class, a teacher sent the kids running laps through the forest. A few laps later, they discovered him taking a shit among the trees, holding onto a branch with both hands so he wouldn’t lose his balance. Arms out. Roughly 90 degrees. The original position.
The story became local folklore and survived in that small town for decades.
Years later, the future creator of Shit Helper™ was sitting in a hotel bathroom with a heroic hangover. He pushed. He waited. Nothing. Then the old story came back to him. He grabbed the toilet brush, held it with both hands like that teacher once held the branch, and tried again.
It worked. The shit came.
At first, it was nothing more than a stupid toilet joke living in the creator’s head. Then came COVID, world leaders doing increasingly questionable things, bureaucracy multiplying, people losing their minds, and everyday life somehow becoming more absurd by the year.
By 2026, the timing finally felt right. The Global Shit Index™ was deep in the red, common sense was clearly underperforming, and the world seemed ready for exactly the kind of solution it didn’t need.
It was time to give birth to Shit Helper™.
Somewhere along the way, the stupid joke started making a strange amount of sense. Shit Helper™ became something else: a symbolic response to a world overflowing with nonsense, bad decisions, unnecessary complexity and increasingly creative forms of stupidity.
And maybe there was a point hidden inside the joke after all:
When life gets heavy, it helps to have something to hold onto.
Even if that something is just a stick.
It helped one hungover idiot in a hotel bathroom.
Maybe it’ll help you too.